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Empire of Shite

by CRABS

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the saw he found
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the saw he found Witty, sassy, topical local punk: what's not to love? Favorite track: Everything's Shit.
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1.
I live in a capital of cool Where property and poverty rule My neighbours can't afford the rent Coffee and cocktails - that's where my money gets spent 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8th coolest neighbourhood I hope you appreciate this Come visit the capital of cool A playground for rich deluded fools Run the risk of getting mugged Meeting a local selling good drugs 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8th coolest neighbourhood I hope you appreciate this Make money in the capital of cool From a hotdesk by a tidal pool You see, I'm just like you Priced out of Hackney, what could I do? 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8th coolest neighbourhood I hope you appreciate this 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8th coolest neighbourhood I hope you appreciate this
2.
The cost of living is a national hate crime, it's shit The worst recession in a lifetime, it's shit It's shit (woah), everything's shit It's shit (woah), everything's shit My energy bill is a grand a week, it's shit The price of a pint makes me weep, it's shit It's shit (woah), everything's shit It's shit (woah), everything's shit I'm so sick of the UK Nothing here goes my way Prices are rising the shelves are bare, it's shit Seventy quid to cut my hair? It's shit It's shit (woah), everything's shit It's shit (woah), everything's shit Can't see a doctor, can't see a nurse, it's shit Can't see a dentist, my abscess is gonna burst, it's shit It's shit (woah), everything's shit It's shit (woah), everything's shit I'm so sick of the UK Nothing here goes my way I'm so sick of the UK Nothing here goes my way I'm so bored of the UK Putin, blow it up, make it go away
3.
Small Plates 01:59
I walked through the door, they said “have you been here before?” ”Our plates are carefully portioned, to leave you wanting more” Small plates, small plates Small plates, I hate small plates “We’ll bring your dishes out, whenever we feel the urge Whenever the kitchen’s ready, your plates will emerge Small plates, small plates, Small plates, I hate small plates I don’t wanna sound rude, but I don’t wanna to share my food Now please explain to me, how one meatball serves three? Small plates, small plates Small plates, I hate small plates, small plates Small plates, small plates I hate small plates
4.
Art World 02:29

about

Crabs return with their latest EP, Empire Of Shite.

Beaten down and weary from the last throes of the Tory government, on lead single Everything's Shit the band run through a laundry list of complaints about the cost of living crisis before cheering themselves up by willing forward the sweet release of nuclear apocalypse.

The remainder of the EP sees them tackle the neighbourhood of Cliftonville in Margate - where they all hail from - being named eighth coolest in the whole entire world by Time Out, the tyranny of small plates, and provide a step-by-step guide to bluffing your way to stardom in the art world.

credits

released March 17, 2023

Vocals: Chris Anderson
Guitar: Stewart Turner
Bass: Mike Davies
Drums: Andy Malt

Engineered and mixed by Jason Frye at Century Audio

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about

CRABS Margate, UK

Write what you know, they said. And so CRABS began documenting the mundanity of their lives and the world around them. Without meaning to they discovered anger, excitement and the universal truth: everywhere smells of skunk. It all arrives on a wave of snapping punk riffs and the nagging doubt that you might be exactly what you’re railing against. We are CRABS ... more

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